Eventually I went to the
doctor and the bone surgeon thingy man and
after X Rays and scans I found out that just
maybe I shouldn’t have been riding at all.
There are those people out there, probably
dressage judges who would agree
wholeheartedly although not for the same
reasons.
Anyway, I have been on a bit of box rest and
finally got back on MTM the other day and
you could just tell by the look on her face
that she wasn’t impressed that Mrs Fat Bum
had the cheek (or two) to place herself on
MTM’s back after MTM has been schooled
diligently on a daily basis by Small Boss
whose weight and bottom and ability are much
more to MTM’s liking although not quite as
much as food.
In fact, we were both on box rest because
MTM also did a really stupid thing and
reared up in her box and fell over
backwards. The reason being, she does not
like noises that she can’t identify and
someone was cleaning out the gutters at the
back of the loose boxes and MTM took
umbrage.
It took us several days to find out why she
did this daft thing and in the meantime, we
thought that she may have had a fit (I know
that I did) and Small Boss was wary of
getting on her because we thought she might
have a brain tumour. Which would have at
least proved that she HAD a brain which some
days is debatable.
I watched quite an interesting programme on
SKY 280 about the Parelli method of training
and how you can put a horse into four
distinct categories (only FOUR!) and that
horses were right brain dominant, left brain
dominant or right brain submissive, left
brain submissive etc and I am still trying
to work out which category my horse falls
into.
After mulling over the problem I find that
she is right brain dominant most of the time
except when she is being left brain
submissive every second Tuesday except when
there is a full moon and at that point she
becomes left brain dominant with right brain
submissiveness every fourth stride in canter
and then only when you bend her to the
inside on the left rein! Or possibly she is
schizophrenic.
Anyway, I am now concentrating on walking in
a long and low frame on a contact with in a
relaxed manner and every now and then I get
on MTM and try to make her do the same with
varying degrees of success.
Unlike my beloved and much missed MGB who
was really good off my leg aids and whom I
never had to kick very hard at all, MTM
seems completely numb especially down the
right side. I can kick her really hard, dig
my spur into her on a semi permanent basis
and still she gives me no response. (That’s
when the moon is in Virgo obviously) and yet
somewhere in the far distance, she can hear
a newt slip into a pond and jump three
metres sideways in the air and land neatly
in the viewing gallery - it really makes no
sense.
When she is being worked in, usually by
Small Boss, as I am still confined to the
mounting block for the fast stuff, she will
not give in her mouth but becomes wooden and
obstinate and generally stroppy whilst
Charlotte gets annoyed with her. Charlotte
only gets annoyed because she knows that MTM
WILL give in eventually (20 minutes tops)
and work fluently and usually very well so
why do we have to mess around for 20 minutes
each day whilst MTM tackles her internal
demons. Is it, I ask myself, because MTM is
an Aquarius with Aries rising and her moon
in Scorpio and Charlotte is also an Aquarius
too and the two of them create some kind of
planetary collision? It’s a bafflement!
I had a question from a lady called Julie
who didn’t give me her email but who should
contact me again with it because her problem
sounded like mine.
She’s been given various instructions and
information from several different trainers
(some of which should possibly know better),
which conflicted and didn’t feel at all
right.
Should we resort to smacking a horse in the
teeth with a bit when it doesn’t do what we
want? Well, the short answer to that is not
actually a very short answer at all because
we all have to learn to ride by feel and
no-one can teach you feel, you have to learn
it by doing it and from a general osmosis of
being around people who know what it is and
can point you in the general direction (but
only when Jupiter is on the horizon) and who
tell you that you’ve done the right thing.
What works on one horse may not work on
another and sometimes we have to use trail
and error to get what we want. That includes
finding a trainer who suits us.
Sometimes I have raised the bit in the
corner of the horses mouth to make it stop
leaning and to lighten the shoulder and some
people may call that smacking the horse in
the teeth. Sometimes I have given a half
halt that may have been slightly stronger
than the half halt I gave two seconds
previously to reinforce the first one, which
the horse totally ignored. I call that
reinforcing the aid others call it smacking
the horse in the teeth.. It’s a very grey
area isn’t it?
One person’s interpretation of another
persons instructions or actions can be very
different which is why some people can teach
and others, despite being grand prix level
riders, cannot. I know of one ex-Olympic
rider who charges an arm and a leg for her
wisdom, who can spend twenty minutes saying
nothing at all but just watching you ride
and the next 20 minutes giving instruction
that makes no sense anyway.
Good teachers may fire a lot of information
at you very quickly, some of which you can
assimilate and other bits that you cannot
and a good teacher will really know how much
you can take on board at any one moment in
time but getting to that stage requires a
good relationship between all three of you
(that’s including the horse) and like all
good relationships, it takes time to build.
For instance, Boss and Small Boss have
tolerated me for so long they know that when
I am having an off day I am a wuss and don’t
like doing brave things. When I am on form,
I am still a wuss but I can be cajoled into
doing scarier things. Because Small Boss
rides my horse on a regular basis, she knows
MTM’s foibles and she can assure me that if
I dig my left spur in, that MTM won’t shoot
into the stratosphere of the indoor school
(except that on occasions, MTM proves her
wrong and we have to be peeled of the X
marker). If the horse does do something
unexpected, then I usually cope with it and
get quite proud of myself because I DID cope
with it and didn’t fall off.
Riding is risky and dangerous. No really
sane person should attempt to do it and why
we continue to do it is a mystery,
especially to those people with tame hobbies
like flinging themselves out of aeroplanes
without a parachute and Super Bike riders.
Who in their right mind would entrust their
lives to half a ton of thinking and
breathing flight animal who can feel a fly
land on him yet ignore someone digging a
spur into him or whacking him with a long
thin stick. Who can hear a very dangerous
and scary paper bag rustling two miles away,
so dangerous that you have to have five
nervous breakdowns and yet totally ignore a
sonic boom?
Much as I love MTM, I wish that she would
read the Sylvia Loch books I leave in her
stable rather than eating them.
So what does it all mean then?
I don’t really know the answer and will have
to consult my crystal ball but to all those
people suffering from a crisis of confidence
like poor Julie out there, I can only say
that we all do and on a much more regular
basis than most of us care to admit. And for
those of you contemplating giving up and
selling your horse onto “someone who can do
him justice” I would say that as your horse
has made you tear your hair out, lose sleep,
lose money etc. your horse really doesn’t
care much about anything other than eating,
sleeping and in the case of mares and
stallions, reproducing, that it is your duty
to humankind to not let him or her get away
with it after all the effort you have put
in. It doesn’t care about winning dressage
points and competing for Britain at the next
Olympic games so it won’t sulk in the stable
longing for a rider who will take it onto
International glory but only where the next
feed is coming from: giving up is not an
option, just a way of letting your horse get
away with it.
As for justice! Bah- Humbug!!
Until next time...
Karry Gardner |
